Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Sweet, Sour, Spicy, and Salty 五味雜陳

'Mindfulness' is the new watch word in Psychology and counseling. In fact, it's not even considered that new any more. It's become practically mainstream. But the acceptance of mindfulness into mainstream academia is barely a decade old. And yet, as a codified practice mindfulness is at least 2500 years old.

Mindfulness is the non-reactive, moment to moment awareness of one's own internal experience. Mindfulness requires a radical acceptance of our own lives and our own situation. No matter what flavor reaches the tongue, mindfulness requires that we neither shrink from it nor fight against it. When we remain mindful, we can face even tough situations with poise and balance. We can take the most effective actions.

Mindfulness is a state of being that we can choose, but choosing it is a skill that takes time to build. In a mindfulness meditation retreat, one sits for days, and although doing nothing, experiences the entirety of life's offerings, from joy to pain to excitement to abject boredom. And one becomes mindful, first, of how seldom one is truly mindful. We begin to discover that we are at least half asleep. Slowly, we learn to wake up.

Out here in the weather, our little boat calls us to wakefulness and brings the range of human experience into sharp relief.

Leaving Seattle, finally, with a fair wind behind us pushing us toward our goal, my heart was filled with elation. How easy it would be to simply exclaim, "This is what it's all about!" And yet, this is but a moment in time.

On the foredeck, when the wind had over-powered the boat, my heart beat with excitement and fear as I wrestled down our genoa to put up a smaller jib. After two peaceful nights in Port Ludlow under sunny skies, our first night in Port Townsend Bay felt like being in a front-loading washing machine, first rolled this way, and then suddenly hurtled back the other. As the boat lurched violently side to side, held by the wind at the exact worst angle to the waves, I looked out the window, first at the sky, then at the water. I longed to be able to do something, anything to stop the rolling.

But there it was. we were rolling side to side and there was nothing to do but live with it. Jiayu slept peacefully, the rolling was simply annoying to her. I sat with my discomfort and passed a long night with myself waiting for the weather to subside.

The next day was Mother's Day. My mom drove over from Whidbey Island to have brunch with us, and in a surreal twist, we drove into the mountains and played in the snow.

* * *

Life on a boat calls one into awareness with an urgency that a meditation retreat cannot. But the retreats are the necessary preparation. When the wind howls and action is necessary, fear will arise, but safety requires poise and balance. To freeze in fear is to jeopardize the boat. Safety requires a clear mind to assess the situation and the decisiveness to take action. The long days of retreat, and the wakeful nights I spend making peace with my fear are the skill-builders that prepare me to continue this journey.

I think that Buddhism in America has too long been viewed as some sort of passive fatalism. I hope that this bit of writing I do here helps dispel that myth. I am deeply grateful for the Buddhist preservation and transmission of mindfulness, an essential art of living, and I am excited that mainstream psychology is finally waking to the benefits of awareness practices. These are heady times for the possibility of human development and fuller realization of our potential.

To date, academic psychology tends to see mindfulness as a tool for healing, but that's kind of like viewing walking as a means of getting out of an undesirable neighborhood. Yes, it's an effective technique, but walking can do far more than get us out of a bad spot, it can takes us to exactly where we want to go.

Likewise, looking at mindfulness as a means to treat mental illness, while useful, is a truncated vision of what is possible. Psychology spends a lot of time getting people back to 'normal.' But mindfulness is not only the path of healing. It is the path of growth. It is the primary skill for growing more fully into ourselves. It is the one skill that can expand our capacity to face and deal effectively with a widening range of experiences and situations. It is a universal skill for facing life's tribulations, and most importantly, opening fully to life's joys.

Perhaps I'll remember some of this when the next storm hits.



(翻譯)
「內觀」已成為當下心理學和諮商的熱門名詞。事實上,它幾乎已經太主流而不再是個新名詞了。主流學術界接受內觀的觀念還不到十年,但是,嚴謹的內觀訓練方式卻已經長達2500年之久。

內觀訓練我們對於內在經驗做當下的覺察,接受我們的生活與所處的情境。無論我們品嚐到何種滋味,內觀教導我們既不沈溺其中也不與之對抗。當我們充滿覺知,我們可以平和的面對困難情境,採取最有效的行動。

內觀讓我們處於自由選擇的狀態,但是選擇的智慧卻需要時間累積。在內觀訓練中,一個人靜坐數天。雖然看似無所事事,卻經驗到生命全然的給予,從喜悅、痛苦、興奮到難以忍受的無聊。然後,你首先覺察到的是:人幾乎很少時刻是全然覺知的。第一步我們發覺我們幾乎在半睡半醒之中,然後,我們學習逐漸清醒。

當天氣主宰一切,我們的小船召喚我們全然的覺知,帶領我們全神貫注於當下的經驗。

滿載著風駛向我們的目標,終於,我們離開西雅圖。我的心喜悅的跳動,我可以輕易的大肆宣示:「我一切的努力就是為了這個!」然而,這只是曇花一現的時刻。

當風過大時,我既興奮又緊張的在船首與卸下大前帆、升上小前帆奮戰。我們在Port Ludlow享受二個陽光與平靜的夜晚之後,Port Townsend的海灣感覺像是個洗衣機──先旋轉一方,又突然逆向旋轉。由於風與潮流來自相反的方向,我們的船猛烈的左右搖晃。我從船舷窗戶望向天空,然後大海。我渴望可以做些什麼,任何可以停止擺盪的舉動。

但是擺動仍然持續,我只能接受。Jiayu沈沈睡去,船的擺盪對她只是輕微困擾。而我,只能與我的不適共處,在漫漫長夜中等待風的平息。

隔天是母親節。媽媽從她住的Whidbey島開車前來與我們聚餐。恍若恍若二個世界似的,我們開車進入山區,在雪中玩耍。

***

船上生活提供了內觀中心無法提供的緊急狀況下的覺知。不過,內觀中心的練習是必須的準備。當風狂吼而我們必須行動時,恐懼同時升起。然而,安全的行動需要鎮定與平和心。因恐懼而無法行動讓我們陷入危險。安全需要清楚的心智審慎評估狀況,然後可以決斷的行動。內觀中心長時間的練習,以及在波動的長夜中與恐懼共處,訓練我對於未來旅程有更佳的準備。

我認為佛教在美國長期被誤以為充滿被動的宿命觀。我希望我的文字或許可以協助驅除這個迷思。我全心感激內觀的修習可以被保存與持續傳遞下去。內觀是生活基礎的藝術,我更樂見主流心理學終於接受覺知練習的益處。這真是興奮的時刻,我們看見發展的可能性,更佳瞭解人類的潛能。

到目前為止,主流心理學僅將內觀練習視為心靈復原的技術。但是這就好比僅將步行視為離開危險環境的方式。當然,步行是有效的方法,但是步行不但可以讓我們離開不安全的區域,還可以帶我們到我們真正想去的地方。

同樣的,雖然覺知練習對於治療心理疾病有效,但這卻僅是其諸多益處之一。心理學花費許多時間讓人返回「正常」,但是內觀並非僅是復原的途徑,它還是成長的道路。內觀主要的功能是帶領我們更成長、更完整;內觀擴大我們面對與有效處理更廣泛經驗與情境的能力。內觀提供面對生命苦難的技術,但更重要的是,內觀讓我們對於生命的喜悅更全然的開放。

或許,當下一個暴風襲來時,我會記得。