習慣成自然 (From Foreign to Familiar)

Syzygy教我的，是正視許多的恐懼，最後都找得到超越它的方式。

第一次搭上syzygy，我提心吊膽。對於她複雜的結構，我抱持「可遠觀而不可褻玩焉」的態度，彷彿一個不小心都有大災難的發生。我對於不熟悉的未知，syzygy耐心的給我時間。

第一次感受到syzygy吃滿風而滿足的傾斜，我死命抓緊船緣，大叫著船快翻了，一段航行後全身肌肉因緊張而酸痛不已，而syzygy只是穩穩的向前，展現其大將之風。

一回生，二回熟。曾經讓我害怕的，在幾次經歷之後，居然開始享受船因風滿貫該有的傾斜，開始可以俐落的在syzygy身上來回穿梭，把該固定的物品歸位，把繩索拿出，依序擺放在屬於自己的位置。

Syzygy也創造了一個神奇的空間，讓我和Rob學習如何在狹小的空間中跳出優美協調的舞步；在因應她與天候變化的千鈞一髮之際，能夠團隊合作、各盡其職；在船長/船員/伴侶角色之間靈活的轉換與真誠的溝通。

我才瞭解，習慣並非全然不好，許多好的習慣讓我們不需要分分秒秒的集中精神，只需隨著熟悉的模式行動。需要改變的，是我們因循的習氣，因無意識或從小受創經驗而一再反覆的不健康模式。

Syzygy讓我看到自己的高標準與嚴苛的自我要求，我對於死亡與生俱來的恐懼，以及我雖不逃避挑戰，但卻總是擔驚受怕的無自信。 她也讓我學習在關係上如何清楚說明與照顧自己的需求，以及對於對方做出理性而非情緒的反應。

在與她的相處中，我居然得到了最佳的禮物與回饋：學習有意識的建立好習慣，修改與觀察我的壞習慣。


Translation:

From Foreign to Familiar

Syzygy has taught me how to face many of my fears, and to find ways to overcome them.

The first time I came on board Syzygy, I was worried. Not understanding the boat's complex systems, I took a 'look but don't touch' approach. It seemed as if even the smallest mistake would lead to disaster. Syzygy patiently waited for me face the unfamiliar and the unknown.

The first time I felt Sysygy eat her fill of wind, she leaned way over in satisfaction. I held on for dear life, yelling that the boat was about to capsize. By the time the trip was over, my whole body ached from holding on. But Syzygy was actually moving steadily along, calmly displaying her prowess before the wind.

But what was once strange has become familiar. And that which used to scare me brings me joy. Now I relish the feeling of Syzygy heeling over, her sails full of wind. And I move across the boat with ease now. I know how to prepare the boat to sail, how to secure loose items, put out the lines and sails, and make sure each item is in its place.

Syzygy's tiny interior creates a magical space where Rob and I learn how to dance together with beauty and coordination. Responding to the boat and and the changing weather, we come together in cooperation, each of us taking on our tasks, fluidly moving between the roles of captain, crew, and partner, communicating with deep sincerity.

I've come to understand that habits are not bad. A good set of habits obviates the need to become enmeshed in each and every detail of a complete a task. We can simply and easily take our accustomed action. The habits that need changing are the ones we picked up unconsciously in childhood, the unhealthy patterns that we continually repeat.

Syzygy helps me see how high I set the bar for myself and how strict I am with myself. She has brought me face to face with my innate fear of death. And even though I'm not running from my fears, I see clearly how I face them with apprehension and lack of confidence. She is teaching me how to express clearly what I need for my own well being. And she is teaching me how to treat speak from my center rather than from emotional reaction.

In this relationship with Syzygy I have received a wonderful gift: I am learning how consciously establish the habits I want while simultaneously observing and letting go my bad habits.